The day before

The girl, who is usually so talkative, is now so silent that it’s kind of disturbing me. When she wakes up, she first stares blankly around and then she took some distance from me, leaving us both shivering in the morning cold. Then she kissed me on the cheek, don’t ask me why, and after that, she just stares at the scenery around.

I couldn’t fathom what she thought about all that. I couldn’t even say if she were even thinking at all. Today, she seems badly hollow to me. When she was not looking around, she just came back under the blanket next to me to slumber a bit and I used that time to write some words to you.

A lot happened, and at the same time, nothing happened at all. On the outside, there are a lot of shouts, a few screams here and there and tons of silent crying from the kids. Those who are still moving I mean.

Finally, cops are here too, tons of them with some medical people too. But I bet you that a good number of them were here last night, putting fire and beating folks to no end. How nice of them to come back now with a helping hand!

More than half the buildings are down to ashes, or close, and what’s still up isn’t really in good shape either.

On my spot, we just spent the day side by side, silently. Me, writing, her, empty. When I offered her some of my emergency food, she just ate it mechanically. Me? Let’s just say my mind wandered too far. So far than even me understand it couldn’t be real.

At night, she stuck to me again, and I let her have her way, seem I’m her best new plushie.

It's morning, she seems a bit more lively.

- *******

I heard her calling my name, and that froze my mind instantly. It took her a few more times saying it before I could even start to react. And even then, I just stare at her dumbfounded. How could she know my name?

- *******, she started again, her voice frail and a bit too much high pitch than the one I’m used to.

- Thank you, she just says before starting again.

- Thank you to be real and not just some fantasies of my mind. I spent so much time under that tree, imagining who you could be, talking to you and acting as if you were answering me. My proud knight, watching over me without fault. Guarding me all day long. Thank you to at least be real.

I don’t know what face I did may harbour at that time but it makes her smile a little. She then kissed me on the cheek again before jumping down the tree and running to meet the other faces.

That’s when I understood that I finally acknowledged that she was really Ellie, and not just one face like any others. I also realised that I spent more than a day stuck to someone without being sick. That fact froze me empty for more than half the day. The only other face I could remember, even if just barely after all those years, is the one of my mother. And now, there is Ellie.

When I started thinking again, I did as she does, I jumped down the tree and goes to someone from the crowd of adults like she did before. I need to be registered and all the stuff, it’s not like I could live on my own in my spot forever too.